Flash back to the dreaded orthodontist days...

It just so happens that I was so unluckily endowed with our families worst dental traits, by far (if any of you want to try to argue that- I have dental horror stories that could give you nightmares and can guarantee that they CANNOT be topped). Yes, as a kid, I pretty much went through every dental Hades ever imagined!!! A few of the highlights were: braces twice, permanent hooks attached to teeth, permanent retainers designed to create awkward and horrifying gaps in my teeth where there should never be gaps, a face gear (yes, I said face gear, and no further explanation will ever be rendered) and all this was eventually crowned with one last final retainer that would need to be worn every night for the REST IF MY LIFE...

Originally, I had never wanted this terribly embarrassing portion of my past to be revealed in any way- however, it was forced back into my life these past few months and was just to hilarious an experience to be kept secret. A few years back, early into my marriage my curse of a retainer broke. I thought of this as a blessing, thinking that would be my excuse to have given up retainer wearing all together. However, when I began to notice my teeth shifting ever so slightly over the years...I finally realized that chapter of my life would have to be reopened.

I had my first appointment to get a new retainer last month and it was like walking right back into that awkward stage of life- you know that Jr. High age where nothing seems to be growing proportionally and looking normal just isn't an option? Well, I was reluctantly back there. The orthodontist's office hadn't changed at all- same wall paper, same "Where's Waldo" books in the lobby and to top it off, all the same sweet old ladies worked there. And of coarse they all had to recognize me and do all but pinch my cheeks.

I was sent right back to the private room- I guess I was getting the long time member treatment- where a lady came in to get a mold of my teeth. "I gave you the bubble gum flavor mold." She said gazing down at me smiling delightfully, as my mouth hung open, full of bubble gum mold. I tried to smile. After the mold was complete I was told to rinse my mouth which I did with a tiny snoopy cup. My dignity swiftly floating away with every passing second. Soon, the lady came back with a box of sample retainers. "Which color would you like for your new retainer?" She asked me. The two 12 year old kids occupying the other two chairs stared at me through the window as I was forced to choose between the pink, green, blue or white sparkly retainer. Anxious to get the attention off of me, I picked the pink one. "You want the pink sparkly one?" She asked far louder than seemed necessary. Devastated, I said yes and attempted to shrink from the view of the other parents in the lobby. As I walked up to the front desk, I glanced in a mirror hanging on the wall...Do I look 13? I wondered.

About a month later, I returned to the past to retrieve my retainer. However, this time I brought Jane hoping that I could somehow convince everyone at the Orthodontist's office that I wasn't 13. It seemed to be working until I was again asked to sit in the chair- this time I was in the main room, seated next to a 13 year old boy waiting to be fitted for braces. Dr. Gee came in, not looking a day older than how I remembered him, asking about my grandpa and parents while he fitted my retainer to my mouth. It took quite a bit of molding and working to get the retainer the way he wanted- but eventually it was perfect. He put it in a pretty pink box for me and said goodbye asking me to see him again in three months. I left the office with my pink sparkly retainer, in its pink box surprised I wasn't offered a lolly pop before I left. I guess some things are never supposed to change... At least I'll have straight teeth.

Smushed...

Good ol' crazy Jane is always good for a laugh!! Lately she loves to put things on her head and walk around the house. I was thrilled when I managed to catch on camera, her new favorite thing to do...She has a clear tupperware that she pulls down over her face, as far as it will possibly go, and walks around looking through it...like so...
Its just not fun, unless it is smushing her nose and face... she will have it no other way!!

It is as if she sees the world alot clearer, when she has her magic hat on...
Lets just say, Jane is a very imaginative child...
We love her to pieces...she also loves her new elephant towel!!
P.S. No babies were hurt in the making of this post. All face smushing was 100% self induced- no help from daddy or mommy!!

Our Treacherous Weekend- A super woman is born!!

Several weeks ago, Ryan, Jane and I had the opportunity to stay at an amazing cabin up at Sundance (Thanks to our good family friends, the Jacksons) with all our family- two of my brothers and their wives came into town and all the little kids had the opportunity to hang out and play together!! (We definitely missed Bryan and Wendy- they were the only ones missing) The cabin was absolutely amazing, stalked every luxary you could imagine and ample space for the huge group we had gathered there. However, the trip was not by any means void of adventure, chaos and danger- that seems to be how we like it in our family. Naturally, we had all decided to drive up to the remote section of mountain where this glorious cabin lay, during the largest snow storm I had ever seen. We contemplated putting a nix on the whole operation several times as the white out conditions were sending my mother(in the car ahead of us) into histerics and our four wheel drive car was struggling around the windy roads...but where's the fun in that.

So we continued... Ryan and I eventually got to the most trechurous part of the drive which consisted of steep inclines and declines and narrow windy roads. I watched helplessly as Ryan grew more and more tense with every incline and decline. He seemed to be in physical pain as he grunted and moaned while driving up the hills- as if that would somehow help our car push its way up. We were nearing the end of our journey when we took a brief stop to check our map...our first mistake. We later learned that we were stuck in the snow, in the middle of the deep dark forest, in a raging blizzard.

Attempting to remain positive, I tried pushing the car while Ryan drove- a ridiculous notion- nothing happened. Frustrated, Ryan demanded that I get in the car with Jane. And I, of coarse, protested the very connotation that I, a woman, was not capable of getting us out of this mess as well as he could, as I dusted snow out from the front of the tires. After my lengthy speech on women's rights, I looked up to see that Ryan was no where to be seen... I yelled for him and searched desperately for him... but he had disappeared. I was devastated and shocked, "Me, a widow this young? Maybe a pack of wolves got him?" Genuinly frightened, I got into the car and put the peddle to the metal- I wasn't going to die like that- alone int he wilderness! To my astonishment, my efforts prevailed- I had freed us from our snowy grave.

Several minutes later, I saw Ryan drving towards me on a four wheeler. Initially, I was glad to see that he wasn't dead and then fury set in when I realized that he had abandoned Jane and I. He had every intention of being the hero and rescuing us by walked the rest of the way to the cabin and coming back to pull us out, however I beat him to the punch- and saved us with my Zena, the warrior princess, like strength and agility!!! I am a super woman!!!

The rest of the trip was delightful- here are a few fun pics:All the Cousins together- and one on the way!!!Jane with Aunt Courtney and Cousin Charlotte!!